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A Kwik-E-Mart now exists in real life

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? I doooooooo.

If Apu’s haunting refrain from the classic Simpsons episode named – aptly enough – “Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?” has always rung true, you finally have the chance to hit up the outrageously-priced store for real.

As part of an attraction called The Simpsons in 4D, this full-sized version of Springfield’s Kwik-E-Mart has opened in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

More than just a great photo opportunity, it’s also a wonderful chance for Fox (or, rather, their evil mouse overlord) to rinse the general public of their money by way of merchandise, with Buzz Cola, Heat-Lamp Hot Dogs, Lard Lad Donuts and a selection of Simpsons-inspired Squishee flavours all for sale.

No word as yet on whether they’ll be stocking delicious corn.

It’s not all that’s coming to the US location either, with the fictional town’s Aztec Theatre to also get the 4D treatment later this year.

You’ll have to buy tickets to get into the theatre, where SimEx-Iwerks Entertainment – the company behind the whole shebang – are promising “a fully themed lobby and theatre experience rich with detail”.

“Launching this experience will be the culmination of years of passionate effort to bring The Simpsons to life beyond the screen,” said Michael Needham, SimEx-Iwerks’ Founder and CEO.

“We are creating a series of memorable moments enriched with tremendous detail throughout the attraction so that guests feel they are part of The Simpsons universe.”

It’s not the first time The Simpsons have been brought to life of late, with 3D artist Miguel Vasquez creating a version of Homer Simpson that Matt Groening himself described as “exactly how I see Homer in my nightmares”.

However, this blatant cash-grab is arguably even more troubling.

Look, maybe it’ll be a lot of fun, but at this point it feels a bit like Fox – or whoever’s in charge of merchandising – is Homer as Krusty and the show itself is the Krustyburglar.

About the author

Joe likes to write about himself in the third person, even if he thinks it’s horribly pretentious when others do it.

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