Hate to break it to you, mate, but you’re making love to the wrong hole.
On Monday at Brackenwood Golf Course in Merseyside, England, golfers received a nasty surprise after they walked in on a topless man pleasuring himself using both the flag pole and the ninth hole.
A video of the incident shows the man lying down and doing something with the six-foot pole. He can also be seen filming himself while doing the deed. Once he’s done, he causally gets up, pulls up his pants, and walks away.
Steven Gayton, one of the golfers who witnessed the act, can be heard shouting, “Bagsy ain’t picking that flag out the hole.”
Later, Steven spoke about what he’d seen.
“He was on his own and it looked like he was doing it for a kick and filming himself doing it,” he said. “It’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever had the misfortune to see. I don’t think he was drunk because he was filming himself. There was only me and three other friends on the course.
“I think he thought he was all alone and when he realised we had spotted him he was not bothered. Scary to think that there are a lot of kids around that area. Very strange. Who knows what goes through people’s heads. That’s definitely a game of golf I will never forget.
“All I can say is if my ball ever goes in the ninth hole at Brackenwood, it can stay there.”
If you’d like to watch the ungodly clip (you sick bastard you), head on over here.