This hotel’s overly honest guest guidelines deserve a five-star rating

Dublin: a place of rich history, picturesque cobblestone streets, and most of all, hilarious hotels!

The city’s Charleville Lodge has been getting some serious attention on social media lately after their incredibly honest guest directory was posted on Twitter by user Terri Welsh.

The first photograph posted shows a letter from Charleville Lodge employee Paul Stenson – which provides a nice dose of reality for guests:

“Dear Guests, you are very welcome to Dublin and to Charleville Lodge Hotel. Please be advised that Charleville Lodge is not Buckingham Palace, therefore guests should not expect 7-star service.

“While our accommodation has been described as palatial, guests are reminded that Charleville Lodge provides budget accommodation and very adequate service. Our service is by no means excellent, which is reflected in the amount of money you’re paying us.

“As you’ve probably noticed, our hotel is one of the best value accommodation providers in Dublin. You will not find any other hotel selling at a lower price. This means that your rights as a guest are limited.

“Please keep complaints to a minimum. Our staff are overworked and underpaid as it is and they really don’t need you going to reception to complain unnecessarily.”

The second photograph posted by Welsh includes an alphabetised list of essential information for guests – starting with the letter D:

“Dogs: if I had my way, dogs would be allowed in the hotel. I prefer dogs to humans. They don’t complain as much. However, our EHO (environmental health officer) does not like dogs in hotels and therefore they are not allowed. Don’t blame me. Blame her.”

The list then moves to H:

“Hairdryers: If you try to steal the hairdryer from your room, you will be in for a little surprise. There is an explosive device installed on the inner wall of the hairdryer chamber, if you attempt to remove it from the room, the anti-theft system at the front door will detect the hairdryer in your bag and detonate the explosives, killing you and anyone around you.”

Finally, the list concludes by telling guests that if they can “f**k off” if they’re looking for Paul’s office number!

Remarkably, this isn’t the first time that the hotel has attracted attention online. Staff members have previously had to issue an apology for lying about Garth Brooks gigs (telling guests to “get a life”) and reportedly lashed out at fans after they received complaints for inflating room prices during Ed Sheeran’s nearby Dublin concert.