Featured Image for With this scarf you won’t be cold any schlonger

With this scarf you won’t be cold any schlonger

In the Northern Hemisphere winter has well and truly begun and surely nothing could keep you warmer than…. a penis?

With the weather getting colder and Christmas approaching, there is the undeniable need to purchase all kinds of wooly accessories.

You’ve probably already got a drawer filled to the brim with beanies and scarves, but we’re sure you don’t have anything like this in your collection. We know this, because this particular scarf is designed to look like you’ve got two penises dangling around your neck.

And if the scarf isn’t enough for you, you can also purchase a matching beanie and socks. This woolly hat may just be the perfect Chrissy gift for your mate that always acts like a dickhead, and the socks come with the addition of a little pubic hair.

The scarves could be the perfect way to declare your rage against men; what could be a more powerful statement than wearing pretend dismembered dicks around your neck like a trophy?

Or if you’re a fan of the penis, then it could be a way to celebrate your love for male genitalia. Either way it’ll definitely get heads turning on the street.

These items are available from HappyUnderwearGifts on Etsy, along with a variety oxwf other items, including vagina slippers and boob scarves.

As for the price, the scarf will set you back $32, and if you have specific style requirements, don’t stress, it’s available in pink, grey, red, or blue.

Oh, and at least shrinkage in the cold won’t be an issue with these bad boys.

Via Metro