So, um, Ivanka Trump wants to talk about her ‘punk’ stage

Television personality and current senior advisor to the President of the United States Ivanka Trump has revealed that she went through a “punk phase” in her early teens, describing it as rough times that included listening to Nirvana on repeat and crying incessantly over the suicide of Kurt Cobain.

Uhhhh… Where do we begin.

There’s been an underlying narrative for a couple of years now that Ivanka will at one point or another run for office. And little by little, she’s been trying to create a calculated image for herself as a smart working entrepreneur capable of handling serious responsibilities while still being easy going and relatable to the millennial generation.

In her own book, Women Who Work: Rewriting The Rules for Success published back in May, she attempts to portray herself as a hardworking lady capable of raising three children, working two full-time jobs and still having enough energy to go hiking to Patagonia. In her trite diatribe she brushes aside her privileged upbringings, boiling down the key of success only to two factors: personal choice and good time management.

Her lead-footed efforts to make her 1 per center lifestyle seem relatable to average working women are as obvious as they are egregious, like when she announced that the 2016 presidential campaign was so consuming, she didn’t have much time for pampering.

“I wasn’t treating myself to a massage or making much time for self-care,” the 35-year-old whined.

Oh yeah, definitely a true working class hero that would make Springsteen proud.

In the contradictory style of her dad, Ms. Trump said on CBS This Morning earlier in the year that she wasn’t interested in going into politics.

“Should voters get their Ivanka 2024 campaign signs out?” asked host Gayle King to which she responded, “No. Politics is a tough business. Politics is a tough business,”

Yet, in 2015, she had the completely opposite position, stating then to Town And Country magazine, “It’s not something I’ve ever been inclined to do, but I’m 34, so who knows? At this point, I would never even contemplate it, but that doesn’t mean that when I’m 50 I won’t have a change of heart.”

And now she’s trying to add a bit of rebellious edge to her public character, saying she once had a punk phase. Her thoughtful revelations were made in her addendum to her mother Ivana’s new memoir, Raising Trump, published by Gallery Books last week.

In the chapter focused on her own upbringing, Ivanka writes: “During my punk phase in the nineties, I was really into Nirvana. My wardrobe consisted of ripped corduroy jeans and flannel shirts.”

“One day after school, I dyed my hair blue,” she says. “Mom wasn’t a fan of this decision. She took one look at me and immediately went out to the nearest drugstore to buy a $10 box of Nice’n Easy. That night, she forced me to dye my hair back to blonde. The colour she picked out was actually three shades lighter than my natural colour… and I have never looked back!

“It wasn’t too long after this that Kurt Cobain, the singer, songwriter, and guitarist for Nirvana, committed suicide. It was a shock and I was distraught. Mom had no idea who Kurt Cobain was, and she sympathised only so much. After twenty-four hours of my crying inconsolably in my room, alone — major melodrama — Mom had to pull me out of there to go down to dinner.”

I wonder if she realises everything she described corresponds to the grunge movement and not punk. In fact, we may go a little further and say her very existence is the total opposite of the punk movement. To say Ivanka Trump had a punk phase is conceptually impossible, akin to stating one can have kosher pork ribs or lovable Republicans.

Of course, the Internet weighed in and had a field day with Ivanka’s remarks. Well played Twitter, you never disappoint.