Man’s list of rules for his girlfriend is the stuff dating nightmares are made of

It’s one thing to ask your significant other to stay loyal when you’re not around, it’s another to give him or her a ridiculously long list on how to do that.

Meet Josh and Lucy. They’ve been seeing each other for six months – or at least, they were – when they made separate plans during a holiday to Magaluf in Majorca. To make sure Lucy doesn’t fool around, Josh gave her an extensive list of stuff she shouldn’t do.

Some of the items on the list include: not talking to boys, not taking photos with boys (even in a group pic), and going straight to her room once the party ends. Whew.

The internet, understandably, was quick to label the guy as a psycho. But to hear both sides of the story, UNILAD decided to interview Josh – which the website instantly regretted.

“Well me and Lucy, let’s just say we’re sort of ‘seeing each other’ for a few months and the list was written purely just for a joke and none of it was actually meant to be taken seriously,” explained Josh.

“But when I sent it, she actually agreed to the things and said they seemed fair enough as long as I stuck to the same things when I was on holiday.

But he didn’t stick to the rules. As it turns out, Josh was unfaithful himself and fooled around not once, not twice, but four times during that week. Lucy even got video proof from one of Josh’s mates (some mate, eh).

In the same interview with UNILAD, Lucy said:

“We were seeing each other for about 5/6 months then stopped due to him sleeping with others girls while seeing me.

“Then we were going to try again because he told me he was in love with me – he made the rules for us to both stick to while on holiday.

“I stuck to them and he slept with four girls in a week and in his words: ‘If I didn’t pull I’d pull one of the girls from the night before’.”

So why did Josh even make that list in the first place?

“I didn’t want her to get with other guys because we was [sic] supposed to be getting with each other after the holiday, but obviously when I’m drunk I forget these things and get with other girls.”

Bruh, you should’ve just stuck with “It wasn’t me.”


About the author

Inigo is a writer and graphic designer from Manila, Philippines. He is a soldier of love who will carry you on his strong back of awesomeness when the zombie apocalypse arrives.

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