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These vintage ads are proof that previous generations shouldn’t have survived

We can all safely agree that advertising these days is getting out of control. It’s everywhere, it’s targeted, but, at least it isn’t trying to kill us.

Because that’s what it seems like these vintage ads are trying to do. We all agree that modern skincare ads get pretty dull after you’ve seen a bazillion, but at least they’re trying to sell a product that won’t give you radiation poisoning. Not too long ago this might have been a very real hazard according to these posters spruiking products or ideas that defy belief.

Let’s not forget that many of these adverts are from the Mad Men era. Who else but Mr Don Draper himself could conceive of such corkers as “Driving? Don’t have that fifth pint” or “Butter is slippery, that’s why we eat as much as possible to lubricate our arteries and veins.”

…mmmm butter

A slightly off-putting thought comes to mind however. When these ads were created they were probably considered to be pretty darn cutting edge, bringing the miracles of modern science to the masses.

Which of our products and commercials will be ridiculed by generations to come? Will we discover that quinoa isn’t so good for you after all and actually makes your toes fall off twenty years after eating it? That would be interesting…

Almost as interesting as mixing 7-Up with milk, which sounds like it could actually be pretty tasty. Thanks, Don!

But seriously, the advice within these ads is genuinely terrible. Don’t eat lead, don’t rub radium on your skin and please, for the love of god, don’t let your baby play with cellophane!

While you’re at it, check out this awesome video!

About the author

Milo Sumner is a day-dreamer, living and breathing in London. When feeling low, he tends to cut loose and chase after dogs in the park. Otherwise he can usually be found pondering what to have for lunch.