Every single one of us has a cousin, co-worker, or neighbor we love to hate and while driving a wooden stake through their evil hearts may not be a viable option cos we care about trees and stuff like that, sending them some hard-to-get-rid-off glitter may be just about right. Simply log on to Ship Your Enemies Glitter, provide an address, pay them as little as US$8.15 and they’ll send an envelope filled to the brim with glitter to your chosen one.
They’ll also include a note telling the recipients that they’re awful humans to receive this shiny gift. Hopefully, the glitter storm will stick in their houses for weeks. Revenge has never looked so pretty.
Appropriately, their FAQ section is very funny:
Is this for real?
Yes, you fucking idiot. We spent too much time, money & resources putting this shit hole of a website up to not get paid for it.
What happens after I give you my money?
We’ll vomit up a tonne of glitter & put it in an envelope with your recipients address on the front of it. We’ll also include a note telling them how awful they are which will be folded within.
Why should I pay you to send glitter to someone I hate?
First off, use your fucking imagination. We’re going to be pouring a tonne of glitter into an envelope with a folded up piece of paper. You know what’s going to happen when that fuckface opens the envelope & pulls out the letter? The craft herpes will be released & will go everywhere.
Why are you so obsessed with glitter?
Go fuck yourself.