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The art of mixing semen into cocktails

Why, this puts a new spin on the whole notion of cocktails. Semenology, a handbook that promises to ‘push the limits of classic bartending’, carries a load of advice on how to mix spirits to ‘enhance the delicate flavors of semen’.

Intrigued mixologists will find tips for mixing, harvesting — says in the book that ‘semen is often freshly available behind most bar counters‘ — and storing cum to make that perfect drink. Our favorite review has to come from this guy who was apparently quite, er, let down: ‘I’ve tried a few of the cocktails in this book and I have to say…its underwhelming. I just didn’t get the “filling” sensation I expected.’