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Reinventing Astro Turf

Where plastic roses everywhere remain a testament to the gifts of spring or the virtue of 80s romantic cliches, Astro Turf offers one of Kitsch’s more useful incarnations. It’s a grass is greener artificial nature strip that brings to mind Alice in Wonderland putting on a ’50s Miami golf course while making friends with the pink flamingos. Like flocking, Astro Turf can be used to cover all manner of surfaces: concrete verandahs, carports, handbags, kitchen cupboards, even the car dashboard (whence daisies and mushrooms spring). And considering the poor state of many inner-city gardens (resulting from neglect and water shortages), a piece of fake greenery adorning your balcony or living room gives a welcome respite from modern life. The best thing is it will remain a Soylent shade of green while the summer sun parches the surrounding landscape until it’s as thirsty and wilted as a party without beer.