People have drawn comparisons between Virus and Talking Heads. The Norwegian trio surely incorporates a lot of jazz, experimental, and metal (the band is a supergroup of sorts with ties to bands like Satyricon, Aura Noir, and Inferno) elements, but their distinct gothic rock sound has very little connection to David Byrne and company. That’s not to say that it doesn’t rule.

SPONSOR

Josh Pogue’s style reminds me of old DIY punk and metal demo covers, but he takes things to a different level with his intricately patterned, fantastical scenes that look like pages out of a demented storybook.

I caught Grayceon from San Francisco a week or so ago in Chicago. I hadn’t heard of them before, but they were really fantastic. The trio has roots in metal, but manage to take things in a more melodic, progressive direction without sacrificing heaviness. Their complex arrangements shift between languid, cello-driven segments to riff-heavy parts complete with double bass drums. Cellist Jackie Perez Gratz’ operatic vocal lines in conjunction with guitarist Max Doyle’s monk-like baritone up the chamber-music feel of their sound, but they still hit the right spots to get people headbanging.

Tyr are a great Viking metal band from the Faroe Islands, a tiny nation between Greenland and the British Islands. They sing in Faroese, Danish, and English, crafting amazingly catchy songs inspired by Dream Theater, mid-era Metallica, and Black Sabbath.

Wow. My bellybutton sure has changed over the years. I was pretty close to being an outie when I was a kid, but as I’ve grown and gained and lost weight, the little ‘button’ has recessed and shrunk to the point where I’m an absolute innie. I feel like this realization has affected my sense of self. No one ever teaches you to clean your bellybutton, but it’s strange how you learn to do this all on your own as you mature. What? Metallica has a new album? Huh. I wonder if dolphins have bellybuttons. That’s a creepy thought.

SPONSOR

Why should the devil have all the good music? Finland’s Holy Blood is a great folk-black metal band by any standard, but its horn-raising tunes are all for the glory of the Good Lord rather than Satan or Odin. What would Jesus do? According to Holy Blood, he’d ride through the forests drinking mead and slaying non-believers.

Despite their over-the-top rockisms (ridiculously monstrous rigs, smoke machines, and high-wattage light show), Jucifer backs the bombast up with some colon-bursting heaviness. The duo from Athens, Gergia, take 90s-era grrl rawk and combines it with slow, plodding, sludge metal like High on Fire on Vicodin.

Vikings terrorized and dominated Britain for the better part of three centuries, so its not surprising that there’s a dearth of viking metal bands in the UK. What the Brits did have, however, were pirates — Alestorm are a Scottish Finntroll-style metal band that sings about treasure, wenches, and battle on the open seas. Next time you have a pirates vs. ninjas party, put these guys on and watch as terrified ninjas cower like the landlubbers they are.