I’ve heard of pet owners looking like their dogs, or of wives looking like their husbands’ mothers. But this is the first time I’ve ever been enlightened enough to know that celebrities can also look like mattresses. All of a sudden, I find myself pitying the likes of Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, who have been lambasted for being so quick to bed. Clearly, it wasn’t their fault. The uncanny resemblance to a mattress is just too much for a tired man.