Ladies and gentlemen, please may we have your attention. We have some extremely confusing news: Hello Kitty is NOT a cat… You read that correctly. The majority of us will have never even spared a thought for the world-famous Japanese icon, and it’s unlikely that any of those that have will have questioned whether or Hello Kitty is indeed feline.
Even superheroes, it appears, are no match for the banal appeal of Hello Kitty. So this is what happens when superheroes become Hello Kitty heroes: they go into a pink frenzy and get ribbons everywhere. Like the cat with no mouth, we are lost for words.
Horse trainer Natasha Goldsmith, aged 29, shares a flat with £50,000 worth of ‘Hello Kitty’ collectibles that she has collected for the past 15 years. Her 10,000 kitty items include jewelry, furniture, clothing, curtains, and 4,000 cuddly toys. She has no regrets sacrificing holidays and chichi dinners to fund her feline hobby. Boyfriends are no exception either as she purred: ‘Boyfriends in the past have tried to make me give her up, so I got rid of them. It’s part of who I am and I’m not changing for anybody’.
Ladies, a piece of advice: When a guy makes eye contact, draw him in not with an intimate stare or a fiery gaze, but with Hello Kitty eyes. Guys love to get lost in love by staring at Hello Kitty eyeballs. True story. Grab the attention of every man with these Hello Kitty eye contacts. You can either have a large Hello Kitty on your whole eyeball or a set of mini faces that circle around the pupil. They come in green, gray, blue, pink, brown, purple, black, and chocolate, of course.
It’s hard to avoid Hello Kitty these days (toy stores, bookstores, grocery stores–she’s everywhere!) and soon when you visit your local bar in China or Taiwan, you’ll be greeted with that super sweet feline’s smile – on a beer can! Hello Kitty marketers say these new fruit-flavored beers (banana, peach, lemon-lime, passion fruit) are targeted towards women, with each can containing just 2.5% alcohol content (half of a Budweiser).
We wondered if any adoring Hello Kitty fan who’s also a cat owner would actually dress their cat as the mouthless doll. Yes, the answer is yes. Must say though, these kitties certainly don’t look very pleased. Watch out for the surprise appearance by a photoshopped Grumpy Cat and a sheepish-looking chihuahua.
It’s not unusual to see cartoon plush toys disguised as other characters, usually in some weird cosplay-like outfit. Hello Kitty, we’ve found, seems especially susceptible. Is it cute, borderline psychotic (‘OMG! They killed xxx’), or just confusing? You decide.
Who said Hello Kitty wasn’t real? Well, as real as plastic can get, anyway. These Hello Kitty Anatomy toys have been designed by Dr. Romanelli and open a window to the inner workings of these iconic Japanese characters.