Already bored with your iPhone? Say hello to the next new craze in mobile phone technology! Get a fantastic egg carton, cabbage head, or tissue box phone. Who cares about a “smart” phone when all you need to do is blow your nose and dry your eyes during a breakup phone conversation. Just grab a tissue from your tissue box phone. Thank you Aldi.

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Mother’s really see the world in the most unique way. Take, for instance, this man’s mother who watched the Matrix with him. Her take on the movie is hilarious: instead of going into the details of plot line and symbolism, she gets hung up on questions not addressed in the movie like, Is Neo straight or gay? And the poor woman admits to having to close her eyes at different points. Oh mother!

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Everyone has a place somewhere deep inside them where Nicholas Cage is accepted, even revered. We can’t explain why, but it’s there (3.20-4.40 in this clip might explain it). This Dutch impressario knows where that space is, and gives voice to it. It’s spot on.

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Are you the kind of vegan with a crazy violent chip on your shoulder? Are you out to prove to your friends that being vegan is the most hardcore decision one could possibly make? Then I think you’ll appreciate the New Vegan Black Metal Chef video. Our super tough, scary, black metal head host teaches us how to make delicious green beans with scary blades and lots of leather and studs. I’ve never been so disturbed by vegetables being chopped up.

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Haha, this is hilarious. When director Adam Patch’s wife got drunk and told him an lame joke about tortilla chips, he taped down what she said and made it into a cute cartoon. Hey, it’s pretty endearing stuff, especially with her slurred voice telling the joke. We can totally see more corny joke-to-cartoons coming right up.

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Dove Real Beauty commercials are so empowering for women. But what about men? Maybe men need to be told they’re beautiful too. Maybe men need a self-confidence boost from time to time, as well. Thanks to the good people of Ad Hoc, now men can discover that they are beautiful and unique too. That’s right: only 4% of men around the world know how beautiful their balls are, but that’s all about to change.

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Still haven’t gotten around to seeing the Star Wars movies? Seriously? Have you been living under a rock? Well, obviously you need to be brought up to speed on reality. Just spend 60 seconds watching this video and you’ll be set. This super-fast cartoon version of Star Wars: A New Hope is perhaps better than the original. Time wasted? No. That’s time invested.

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Oh, the insecurities that plague humanity. In his video Life through Google’s eyes, Barcelona-based Marius Budin captured the hang-ups that people have about themselves, as revealed by Google searches. It’s a fascinating if slightly depressing look at how some insecurities never go away whether you’re a ten-year-old or an 85-year-old.

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Why do all cute dolls and singing toys get so terrifying as their batteries wear out? We all know it’s true. They become demon possessed as soon as they’re short on battery. This Louis Armstrong doll is the creepiest toy I’ve ever seen. Find more ridiculously terrifying toy videos here.

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What if Batman left his movie and invaded all the other classic movies? Imagine him as the little boy from Home Alone, or Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz. I love Batman parodies, and this is quality stuff!

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“Ship my pants, right here?” a customer asks in Kmart’s recent commercial. The earnest enquiry is deliberately meant to be misheard — and it’s the first of a whole string of poop puns that run on for a good 35 seconds next (yes, Kmart wants you to know that you can ship your pants, your bed, your nightie, your drawers, anything at all). The video ad has chalked up over six million views on YouTube in just five days. Guess everyone digs some poop-related word humour.

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Whether you think GIFs are a stupids fad, or love them dearly like I do these How Animals Eat Their Food GIF wall is about to make you smile. Not only is it hilarious to look at, but you have to wonder how they even thought of doing it.

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Warning: once you watch this video, you’ll never be able to look at Spiderman the same way again. The folks at Animation Domination High Def want the world to know what Spiderman would actually be like if he had scientifically-accurate spider traits. You probably wouldn’t want this guy fighting crime in your town.

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Somewhere in an alternate universe, people in 1995 are watching The Walking Dead. To us in the present-day, we can only guess that it looks something like this video. Complete with nostalgic intro music and poor-quality titles, this video is SO 1995.

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The guys at Bad Lip Reading have done it again, taking that vacuous, candy-coated pop group known as One Direction and giving them the treatment their nauseating music deserves: a remix, but this time with a twist. They’ve created the trailer for their first foreign language feature film, and it’s genius.

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I thought this video was hilarious. It shows a young Barack Obama talking about how he plans to throw the most inspirational party on campus ever.

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Thanks to the Institute of Tequila has just discovered the dramatic origins of Sparkle Donkey Tequila. This 3-minute-long video is the only documented historical account of the elusive El Burro Esparkalo, which hails from a small village in Mexico. So, now you know where your new favourite tequila comes from.

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Somehow when we first watched this insane mix of goats yelling like people, we already suspected that it wasn’t going to stop at that. Looks like we were right. Our grumpy hoofed friends from the animal kingdom had just one thing left to do: hijack pop music. Thanks to some excellent support from these goats, these tunes by the likes of Adele and Justin Bieber are now complete. Goats are great.

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There’s something so touching about Isabella Rossellini’s short films for Burt’s Bees explaining the various dramas that unfold in the honeybee kingdom. Rossellini is at once humorous and serious, conveying the playful spirit of these little creatures while also making the details of their important roles clearer for us humans. I’m hard-pressed to pick a favorite character, though Rossellini as farmer Burt with his newspaper beard is certainly the sweetest.

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Do you find yourself struggling to fight apathy, the desire to be vegan, and the need to put a mustache or bird on everything? Have you lost your drive? Are you chronically unhygienic? Do you have the urge to take frequent trips to the Apple store? Do you experience turrets-like symptoms of constantly babbling about bands no one has ever hear of? If you said “yes” to one or more of the above questions, then it might be time to talk to your doctor about Unpretentiousil.

Unpretentiousil has been clinically and scientifically proven to battle the symptoms of ‘Hyper Involuntary Panic Stress Tension Elevation Response’ disorder, otherwise known as ‘HIPSTER’. It’s time to take control of your life again. It’s time to take Unpretentiousil.

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