Are you the kind of vegan with a crazy violent chip on your shoulder? Are you out to prove to your friends that being vegan is the most hardcore decision one could possibly make? Then I think you’ll appreciate the New Vegan Black Metal Chef video. Our super tough, scary, black metal head host teaches us how to make delicious green beans with scary blades and lots of leather and studs. I’ve never been so disturbed by vegetables being chopped up.

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Piranhas are some of the most vicious little creatures in the animal kingdom. They may be small, but we shiver at the idea of swimming in the Amazon River and feeling one nibble on our toes. The killer fish can strip something as big as a cow to its bones in a matter of minutes. But now it’s time to fight back! A restaurant in Japan has turned the tables and now serves a lightly fried, delicately seasoned gourmet Piranha dish. No telling how it tastes though.

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Stoners can be innovative, but it’s often restricted to figuring how to make a pipe out of whatever’s on hand. For those with a healthier bent, there is The Vegan Stoner. If you want to eat well and do it cheaply, this is the resource for you. I often don’t have time to cook as good a meal as I’d like, but TVS gives you options using canned and frozen stuff, which takes almost no time. Each recipe is accompanied by fun illustrations (of baked vegetables) reminiscent of hippie cookbooks, so you have something to stare at after you find you have a lot of time left over.

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If you’re the sort who’s a bit of a control freak about how every single stalk of celery that lands on your chopping board always has to be the same exact length, we found an OCD Chef cutting board in the Think Geek store and thought you might like it. Why? It comes with measurements marked on its surface. The tagline that accompanies the kitchen tool is ‘Because good knife skills require precision‘ — but it might just as well be ‘Because OCD people need to be OCD’.

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Rohan Anderson is the coolest sustainable lifestyle guru ever. If I was 15 years younger, I would totally adopt him as my dad. In his new book, Whole Larder Love, he’ll teach you how to hunt, skin a rabbit, make chilli sauce and grow trees sideways, all with a cool facade and a witty attitude.

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I learned to love cooking from my mother, who practically has a library of cookbooks. From Julia Child to Ferran Adrià, she uses great chef’s recipes primarily as a source of inspiration, not as a set of instructions. Niki Segnit’s book The Flavour Thesaurus is my new go-to book for dinner ideas. Beautifully printed and humorously written, this book the new definitive guidebook for people like me who wish they had a more developed palate.

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We always knew interactive 3D holograms would be in the future, and now the future is here. The Tokyo Institute of Technology has developed a cooking simulator for aspiring chefs so they can hone their cooking skills without the use of real food. Virtual ingredients are projected onto a frying pan for chefs to stir, and the virtual food moves and changes color as it would in a real frying pan. The simulator also replicates the weight of the food in the pan, so chefs can have a more life-like experience. Now, if only you could smell your virtual culinary creations.

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These yummy cake-sicle trays are perfect for making ‘cake-sicles’, when you can’t substantiate whether your tummy is yearning for a cake slice or an ice-block. If I had it my way, I would improvise with a little cookie dough and, wallah, choc-chip cookie-pops, people!

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