North Korea’s state-run media has come up with some doozies in its time but this latest claim may take the cake.
Rodong Sinmun, the official state newspaper, reported that Kim Jong Un climbed Mt Paektu over the weekend and revealed he has a new superpower.
Mt Paektu is 2,744 metres high and the Supreme Leader apparently did it wearing shiny leather shoes and a long overcoat. Everyone knows that’s what the pro hikers wear. No equipment or rope either, that’s for casuals.
But that’s not even the amazing part.
According to Rodong Sinmun the “peerlessly illustrious commander” can control “the nature”, which is why he got to see such “charming scenery” when he reached the peak.
That’s right folks, Kim Jong Un now has the powers of Storm from X-Men and he used them to clear up the weather on Mt Paektu.
When he got to the top the sight was so beautiful that it reminded him of the time he completed the state nuclear force, Rodong Sinmum reported.
That’s really something can all relate to that. Who among you hasn’t looked at a nice sunset and thought, “Wow, nukes are rad”.
He ended his time on the mountain with some philosophising.
“His eyes reflected the strong beams of the gifted great person seeing in the majestic spirit of Mt Paektu the appearance of a powerful socialist nation which dynamically advances full of vigour without vacillation at any raving dirty wind on the planet,” the state-run outlet reported. Deep.
Controlling nature is awesome, but Kim Jong Un has other powers too.
North Koreans are taught that the dictator could drive at age three, raced yachts at nine and wrote 1500 books while at university.
OK, enough is enough. That’s just ridiculous. Everyone knows unicorns don’t have lairs.