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This Cambridge student has just been crowned the “best bum” of 2017 (NSFW)

The victorious undergraduate student identified as “Vita” admits she has “considerable arse and thighs” and believes her triumph over far slimmer contestants is a win for “body acceptance”.

I honestly didn’t know until today that The Tab, Cambridge University’s famous youth blog holds an annual “Best Bums” contest. Every year, students are encouraged to step out of their pesky clothes and take a pic of their derriere in any of the majestic locations the 13th-century campus has to offer.

This year’s official call for entries hilariously stated;

“For weeks, students from Homerton to Girton have been sitting, quite literally, upon a goldmine of potential. Your posteriors have suffered maltreatment and underemployment, their true callings suppressed under the weight of essay crisis after essay crisis, buttocks subconsciously clenched out of stress.

It’s time for your arses to ARISE. Unclench those cheerful cheeks, grab a pal with a half-decent understanding of photographic composition, and unleash your delectable derrières to the world.”

Although lighthearted, this is no affair for amateurs. The singular contest looks for photographs in daring settings with high production value.

Vita’s shot, in which she is standing naked leaning against an oak tree, won with 24.32 per cent of the vote among readers of The Tab, a narrow victory over Virginia, a Land Economy student that got 23.08% of the vote.

In an exclusive statement for The Tab, the surprised law student said of her dramatic victory,

“My formative years were full of angst and self-criticism, as these were the noughties, when Paris Hilton ruled and the peach emoji had yet to be conceptualised.

In such a straight-up-and-down world, I despaired over the dimples and dents in my rather sizable arse and thighs. My ever-solicitous mother consoled my lamentation by assuring me that, in time, such ass-ets would transform from a source of shame to one of pride.”

“Though this may not quite be ‘Cambridge First’ my parents envisaged, I am sure they are still proud of me. And hopefully this will soften the blow when I get a 2.ii.”

In case you’re curious, you can check out this year’s finalists here.

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FB: Cambridge Best Bum

About the author

Filmmaker. 3D artist. Procrastination guru. I spend most of my time doing VFX work for my upcoming film Servicios Públicos, a sci-fi dystopia about robots, overpopulated cities and tyrant states. @iampineros

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