America is getting a total solar eclipse on August 21, but not everyone’s celebrating the same way.
Some people are travelling to the country’s heartland for the best vantage points, others are getting Amtrak’s ‘solar eclipse train’, and others are…looking for someone to bone.
Cop a look at this Craigslist ad – arguably the creepiest in existence (no mean feat mind you, given that 90 per cent of the website is unsolicited and bizarre sexual classifieds).
Not entirely sure where to begin breaking this down.
Is it the weirdly specific emphasis on his “strong” and “pure” European blood?
Or is it his 100 per cent lethal strength? A terrifying prospect when you’re about to have sex with a complete stranger from Craigslist
And we haven’t even gotten to the sex yet!
I’ll level with you, I don’t have a science degree, nor am I a doctor.
But I’m fairly certain you can’t become instantly pregnant by pointing your wang at the sun and having mutual orgasms.
Then again, I’ve never really tried.
Oh and…you must like cats. Which makes me very worried about how cats are going to come into the equation here..
Frankly, I can’t believe the dude is still single, seems like a real catch.