People who want nothing more than to slather glitter all over their butts have long been ostracised by society, and with good reason. But now, their day has arrived.
That’s because the latest inexplicable fashion trend involves taking copious amounts of glitter powder, and applying it in a thick layer.
So what? You might ask. What’s so exciting about that? Well, did I mention that you apply that thick layer to a very specific location: your butt. Perhaps now you’re starting to see why this incredibly puerile trend is taking the internet by storm!
In the annals (no pun intended) of butt history, there has always been a tendency to accentuate the butt’s various charms by way of strategic application of accessories – perhaps using a judicious application of baby powder, or a g-string, or even those track pants with writing on the bum that people used to wear a few years ago.
But this is the first time in history that someone decided to cover their buttocks in multi-coloured plastic flakes.
Call me crazy, but I think maybe what people are really excited about here are the butts themselves, rather than the sparkles.
And really, why not? The results have a certain appeal, I guess. Just don’t come anywhere near my sofa with that butt. Matter of fact, why don’t you just stay outside, and I’ll get you a sponge and a tub of soapy water so you can clean off your bum, which you have inexplicably chosen to cover in a substance designed for children’s arts and crafts. You go, girl!