Donald Trump is famous for a lot of reasons: his hairdo, his money, his brash attitude, his authoritarian shadow government. But did you know that he also draws?
Yes, he draws! That is, according to new twitter parody account in his name. Or at least it’s probably a parody. I mean, it might actually be real. Okay it’s not. But when you see it, you’ll wish it was:
Come to think of it, why can’t we just say it’s legit? Would that be considered fake news? Or just “alternative facts”? Is there a difference?
Whoever’s making these things obviously noticed Trump’s habit of holding up whatever terrifying executive order he just signed and displaying it for the cameras, looking much like a jaded cruise ship magician, showing you that he just guessed your card.
Here, for example, Trump proudly displays his personal rendition of what he thinks a dinosaur might look like. It looks like he probably meant to draw a stegosaurus, based on the plates running down its back. But Trump probably doesn’t much care about the dinosaur’s species, just as long as it broke down into fossil fuel after it died, preferably in the Arctic somewhere, making it available for extraction just as soon as he signs the inevitable executive order to reverse Obama’s ban on Arctic drilling:
Here’s another one: it’s a cute turkey, drawn by Donald J. Trump! Much like the turkey he will inevitably pardon next Thanksgiving, according to the whimsical White House tradition that dates back to the 1940s. He’ll show his mercy and good nature to either four or eight Thanksgiving turkeys, depending on how long he’s in office. Less likely to receive mercy from President Trump: anyone from Yemen, Libya, Iran, Sudan, Somalia, Iraq, or Syria, or whatever other country he ends up banning or bombing. But for now, look at this cute turkey:
Next up, we have a drawing of a quaint little house, as imagined by the new President of the United States. You’ll note that the house is still standing, which is more than we’ll likely be able to say for houses in whatever country Bannon tells Trump to invade during his first term, now that Bannon has a seat on the National Security Council. That’s Steve Bannon I’m talking about — you know: the guy who thinks we should be the aggressors in a global war with Islam, and who wants to destroy the American system as we know it. The man who even Glenn Beck says is terrifying. That Bannon.
Will the houses Bannon reduces to rubble be Iranian? Or is China a more likely target? Maybe the house you’re sitting in right now even, if the situation really spirals out of control. But don’t worry; a war between the US and China — that couldn’t possibly lead to a global war, could it? Anyway here’s the house, for now:
But really, these aren’t very good drawings by any measure. That’s kind of reassuring though: it’s hard to imagine a failed artist turning into a threat to world peace, right?
Would you like to see more clips of authoritarian edicts made to look like children’s drawings? Then head over to the TrumpDraws twitter account for more. He’s the best at at drawing. Believe me folks.
Via the AV Club.