If you’re female, financially well off, young, and have at least one female friend, then you’re a witch. Also, if you’re female, not financially well off, old, and have had an argument with anyone ever, then you’re a witch too. If my calculations are correct, those qualifications include basically every female on Earth! Hooray for being a dude!
Other qualifications for getting burned at the stake in 1962 are being a midwife, having a mole or birthmark or third nipple (I’m looking at you ‘Total Recall three-breasted prostitute), having premarital sex, you daydreamed about your soulmate, and having spoiled butter or milk in your fridge.
Glad you’re not living in crazy 1962, eh? You can see the other witch qualifications and their details at Mental Floss.
Via Mental Floss