Here’s a tasty treat: Cubed earwax, no joke!
These cubed earwax treats bring a whole new meaning to ‘organic food’. Available over at Hoxton Street Monster Supplies, these little snacks are perfect for vampires, zombies, werewolves, banshees, humans-who-are-into-this-sort-of-thing, and all types of disgusting creatures.
The description on the site describes on how it’s organically harvested: ‘Our earwax is harvested from humans fed on a strict diet of Tinned Fear, which is marvellously effective in stimulating the Ceruminous Gland’.
‘Made the traditional way, in copper pans above a gas flame, this is some of the finest earwax available anywhere’.
Disclaimer: If you’re really that gullible, these are actually clotted cream fudge. And if you buy their earwax cream fudge, all proceeds go to the Ministry of Stories, an organization that arranges writing workshops for younglings.