You can now buy your cat battle armour

Protect your beloved cat from all that threaten its furry nine lives! Etsy shop Schnabuble, purveyor of fine human wear, created a $500 suit of armour for your feline friend. Schnabuble passionately describes the battle armour on his Etsy page, ‘100% wearable, flexible, and comfortable, the Cat Battle Armor is a for-reals armor harness for your kitty.

Completely hand-made from durable veg-tan leather, this is no mere costume piece. Your cat will become an unstoppable force for slaughter in this fully articulated suit, shielding him/her from foes while allowing unimpeded movement across the battlefield or living room floor’.

He continues, ‘The imposing torso section features several riveted, articulated plates and a terrifying rack of dorsal spines. Your cat’s hindquarters are sheathed beneath exquisitely arrayed overlapping scales stitched to a soft leather backing, adorned with nickel silver dome rivets. Midnight black scales and plates are finished with a glossy protective coat and seamlessly join together like the petals of a deadly flower. Adjustable at the collar with elastic and two nickel silver buckles, and at the belly with grommeted corset-style lacing for a secure, comfortable fit’.

He also says that he would gladly make a custom suit for any other animal, as long as you give him a good reason to. Dog-lovers, what say you?

cat armor
Cat Battle Armour 2
Cat Battle Armour

About the author

Inigo is a writer and graphic designer from Manila, Philippines. He is a soldier of love who will carry you on his strong back of awesomeness when the zombie apocalypse arrives.