The next time someone scoffs at your TV dinner, let them know how classy a ready meal can actually be. Because Chef Charlie Bigham is really making a case for them with his new Swish Pie. This TV dinner uses ‘the finest British lobster, wild turbot, fresh diver-caught scallops, Balik smoked salmon and oysters’ which are all poached in, what else, but Dom Perignon champagne sauce and then ‘nestled beneath fresh white Alba truffle, creamy mashed Yukon Gold heritage potatoes’ and set off with a 24-carat gold leaf tray (with an extra thrown in for good measure: an amuse bouche of Beluga caviar).
But don’t think you can buy this meal at any grocery store. Since it’s priced at £314.16 (a little play on π), the Swish Pie is delivered in a bespoke aluminum case by a professional security guard, ‘who will be handcuffed to the ready meal until it’s been delivered to its buyer.’ Not sure if that’s meant to make us chuckle or not, but I suppose if you’re shelling out that much money for a TV dinner, you might as well make the most of its arrival, too.