ThinkGeek, an online purveyor of mystical goods such as the famous Canned Unicorn Meat has come out with a new product that’s dangerously delicious. Canned Dragon Meat is pre-cooked, charred dragon meat that according to the website, ‘contains 100% of your daily value of havoc, terror, inferno, destruction, magic, and rage’. People are going ga-ga over this product, claiming that it’s a feast fit for kings and knights.
Radiant Farms, the enchanting place where nuns harvest the Unicorn meat, have recently moved to the Dragon Rendering Plant in Scotland. The reason? ThinkGeek explains that, ‘The nuns at Radiant Farms lead a tortured life. Think about it: they start out all-loving and kind and raising Unicorns and letting them die of old age. But year after year of watching such beauty die weighs on their soul. They become evil and cruel and desponent and angry and bitter. It’s then they’re relocated to the Dragon Rendering plants of Scotland and… well, you know the rest’.
So the nuns got corrupted and we got Dragon Meat instead of Turkey for next Thanksgiving, who cares? Oh, Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, might; but I digress.