by Inigo del Castillo in New Trends on Thursday 21 November 2013

We all remember the great 80s as the decade with iconic trends like the Rubik’s cube, Pac-Man, Madonna, Top Gun, Star Wars (the ones Hayden Christensen didn’t ruin), and Thriller. Some trends, however, we would rather leave it in the 80s – yes, I’m talking about you, mullet. There are some trends we would like to bring back in style, no matter how kitsch they seem. Stick with us here guys, we have good explanations for this list.

80s cartoons
1980s cartoons kick the 2000s cartoons’ butts easily. It’s not even fair to compare the two. ThunderCats, Voltron, The Transformers, Masters of the Universe, G.I. Joe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and even Duck Tales, will forever will be better than Dora the Explorer. Case closed.

Bill Cosby sweaters
These loud and obnoxiously-patterned sweaters became popular thanks to Bill Cosby, who wore a different sweater every chance he could. I didn’t include this in the list because it’s more appealing now. I included it because it can be a test of courage for men everywhere, to wear these with confidence in public. Or simply, because you’re a hipster.

Fanny packs
Do you even know how hard it is not to get mugged when you’re in crowded places? Clumsy jean pockets are no match for the lightning-quick hands of thieves. But do you know how many times I got robbed when I was wearing a fanny pack? Zero. Well, probably because I’ve never worn a fanny pack before, ergo, the clean track record, but that’s beside the point. Fanny packs, people. Thieves would not even think of mugging a tasteless person who wears a fanny pack.

Hi-top fades
Hi-top fades are slowly making its way back into the public eye. Many basketball players are already sporting (no pun intended) them, presumably because of its aerodynamic design. Aside from its cool looks, it also serves as a sort of homing beacon whenever you get separated from your friends. It goes like this: “Where’s Hi-Top Fade?” asks your friend. They look around and spot a tall head of hair in the distance. “Oh! Found him!”

They’re like socks, but are generally footless and thicker. I don’t understand why people hate these things so much, but have you seen Flashdance?! Jennifer Beals in leg warmers is a perfectly good reason to bring back this trend. And don’t get me started on Japanese schoolgirls wearing miniskirts with legwarmers.

Mini skirts
Men, need I say more? Miniskirts had a sort-of revival in the mid-2000s but died out again. Men all over the world have been waiting ever since for the next revival of this trend.

Before MTV became a place where you can watch reality shows about people we don’t care about, they actually played real music. MTV in the 80s was the voice of a generation. It was the place where conflicted teenagers gathered and listened to equally conflicted rock stars and hip-hop artists. We’re hoping they can bring back the glory of the ol’ days.

Parachute pants
Ultimately, this is the battle between lesser evils. You could choose between baggy parachute pants that cover everything from the waist down; or you could go with regular jeans, but sagged down below the butt cheeks, aka sagging. And with that, I rest my case.

Puffy vests
Why did this go out of style anyway? Marty McFly wore it all the way to the future, why shouldn’t we?

Shoulder pads
Lady Gaga and Rihanna gave this article of clothing a revival a few years ago. But I say, women should totally get with shoulder pads again. The logic behind this is: Men love women who have confidence. It takes confidence to look like an American Football player. And therefore, women should wear shoulder pads, not because men love American Football players (ok, except maybe Tebow), but because we love confidence.