One Gallon Hip Flask
This is a one gallon hip flask. These are the reasons you may need one: 1. I’ve tried booking hotels in two Australian cities this week, and apparently they are all full. I have also tried catching several taxis this week, and waddaya know, they’re all full too. Based on this field research, I’ve come to the conclusion that the planet is overpopulating and we’re all going to sufffocate. Let’s get drunk so we pass out before that happens.
2. If you’re a student, you’ve probably just finished the semester/year/degree. Soon you will learn that very little of the knowledge that you have crammed and slaved over is of any use. You need a drink.
3. If you’re already in the work force, it’s 2012 strategy time. This means that every client and their dog needs you to turn their business into Amazon, and while you’re at it, find them the new Old Spice Guy. Why not keep them drinking until 2012 – maybe they’ll lose these ambitions.
4. It’s the freakin’ silly season.
Tagged: bizarre products, funny Christmas present
Also by MARGARITA PEKER
Terribly photoshopped Russian wedding pictures
There are few benefits to being born a Soviet. After 25 years as a Moldovan, however, I have identified three: pickled delicacies, rose gold, and the god given right to laugh at other Russians. I think there is just something undeniably hilarious about stereotypical Russians, and for the next five minutes, I extend my birthright to you, reader, so that you can be unrestrained in your enjoyment of these awfully photoshopped Russian wedding pictures. Read more
33 animals who are extremely disappointed in you
If you can incite anger or disappointment in another species, then you know you have really masted the Ebenezer Scrooge thing. I, on the other hand, have the terribly naff habit of smiling goofily at animals because, in all seriousness, how the heck are you supposed to interact with small fluffy things? Anyhow, I digress. The point is that these are 33 animals who are extremely disappointed in you. And it’s hilarious. Read more
Celebrities That Look Like Matresses
I’ve heard of pet owners looking like their dogs, or of wives looking like their husbands’ mothers. But this is the first time I’ve ever been enlightened enough to know that celebrities can also look like mattresses. All of a sudden, I find myself pitying the likes of Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, who have been lambasted for being so quick to bed. Clearly, it wasn’t their fault. The uncanny resemblance to a mattress is just too much for a tired man. Read more
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Portland based illustrator Brooke Weeber’s work instantly charms. Her meticulous line work, together with soft water colour palettes, make for a modern vintage feast for the eyes. Weeber’s subject matter spans from Narwhal whales, bicycles, to my personal favourites, her many bearded men. Read more
Fine, skull art may be a little played out at this point, but come on, this one is made out of real human brains!
The Hatton hotel epitomises Melbourne cool. Those who value design, location, and luxury will find The Hatton the perfect Melbourne base. Read more
When I did the Master Cleanse diet a few years ago — the one where you consume nothing but lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper for ten days — I sat at work looking at pictures of food as if they were porn. Scanwiches would have gotten me hot and bothered like nothing else.
Give me a minor key song anytime. Yup, I’ll take the heartfelt purity of an introspective trawl over any warm and fuzzy major key shimmy. I once asked UK band The Editors why there aren’t more cheerful songs in the world: ‘Three words’, vocalist Tom Smith replied. ‘Shiny Happy People’. He smirked. I grimaced. Enough said.
Listen to Casiotone for the Painfully Alone’s, Don’t They Have Payphones Wherever You Were Last Night.
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The scientists explored the surface of our moon until they stood facing the foreboding presence of The Lunar Crystal. The two men stood in awe of the crystal’s existence. They stared without tact; oblivious to the inquisitive voices on the other end of their earpieces.
We have a Contribute Section through which you can post onto LAEM under your name about your favourite pop culture discoveries. So help spread the good word about those talented peeps doing talented things. They win. You win. We win!
Danot has created a stunning line of new illustrated tanks and tees, featuring our latest obsession, the Forlorn tanktop. Is it a bird? Or a face? Or all of the above? Dive into this graphic and decide for yourself. While you’re there, check out the other great new Danot pieces in the Lost At E Minor store
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