by Gerry Mak in New Trends on Wednesday 16 February 2011

According to B.R. Meyers over at The Atlantic, there is a scourge of foodies looming over America. Foodies are bad because they fly to Vietnam for pho. All of them do, which is evil. But even if they stopped doing that, Meyers would still be mad because he hates that people enjoy food at all. Anthony Bourdain is the devil for encouraging people to love cooking, Michael Pollan is evil for making the elitist claim that fast food is bad for us.

Meyers would prefer writers who tell us to eat nothing but crackers and die lonely. I think Bukowski writes like that, right? Oh wait, ham sandwiches. Meyers hates ham sandwiches too. I think he wants us to be breatharians.

Meyers says poor people don’t love food. They eat slop and they hate it but they have clean souls and will go to heaven for eating slop and hating it. Loving food is a symptom of being a rich, elitist bastard who kills children. You know who loved food? Hitler.

Meyers wants us to read food writing that’s about how bad we are for loving food, just like his article. I read it and I think I would much rather have been having pre-marital sex or listening to rock and roll music. Or reading Anthony Bourdain.