Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have an announcement of some importance, one that will perhaps rock the very foundations upon which humanity is resting. One that I make with just a hint of shame and a healthy scattering of bravado. One that will perhaps relegate me forever to the realm of the desperate and dateless, little more than a wallflower in the great garden of life. For I have officially entered the sordid and somewhat competitive world of professional whistling. Yes, that’s right, professional whistling. Last night in a moment of altruistic euphoria (encouraged no doubt by a long glass of Argentinean white) I agreed to become the manager of an entrant in this year’s American Whistling Championships, an annual event of monumental proportions that pits the finest sets of lungs, lips and tonsils in the country against each other in a showdown to the death. Or at least until someone wins. Whichever comes first. This is a fiercely competitive environment, where song choice, pitch, and tone are everything; and tight jeans and social graces, evidently, are not. Where the sweet tremor of a well-performed vibrato is like music to the ears of a judging panel that have no doubt heard it all before. So we must push boundaries; we must take risks. Hendrix’s ‘Star Spangled Banner’; Cream’s ‘Sunshine of Your Love’ and Zappa’s ‘Prelude To The Afternoon Of A Sexually Aroused Gas Mask’ are all part of my grand vision. And yes, there will be tears along the way; there will be days when my exhaustive training routine will wear. But, heck, when my charge stands proudly on that podium, clutching the magnificent Gold Flute and whistling with abandon the victory song (Sherbet’s ‘Can You Feel It?’), I know deep down inside that it’ll be more than worth the sacrifices. [illustrations by Shinya Harada]
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YOU'RE SAYING (1)
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Since 2009, Aggronautix has produced and distributed Throbbleheads: a punk rock version of the ever-popular bobblehead doll that runs rampant throughout modern American society. Three of the ten have sold out completely. Aggronautix also distributes specialty punk rock items and other punk rock paraphernalia. Fun.
This clip had such an impact on me when it first came out, back in the day. There’s just something so poignant about the idea that some people you pass on the street everyday have a little bit more insight into their world — our world — than we could ever imagine. It’s beautiful and confronting, and it’s all set to the most wonderfully evocative music.
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I haven’t bought a CD in a while but I was strolling down Wellington’s Cuba Street looking for a bit of inspiration the other day when Liam Finn’s music tapped me politely on the shoulder and dragged me into the music store. Liam is New Zealand music royalty, of Neil Finn descent, although — with his wild hair and beard — he’s looking a bit more like a young Jesus these days. The record is made with the help of an analogue loop machine, and you’ll find the kind of stunning instrumental crescendos that I haven’t heard since The Beatles Hey Jude. He engages emotionally and spontaneously, with both skill and showmanship.
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spiro said | 12 October, 2006
give me the detais of where and when this whistling competition is being held. i might enter the neighbour’s dog who tends to howl/whistle in the night occasionally. S